So Anyways

I've Been Inspired!

Thanks to Beth, one of Ed's good online friends whom I had the pleasure of meeting a few years ago, my inspirational black hole has dissipated. Thanks, Beth! I was definitely hurting for ideas!

Beth's question - how insane are gas prices around Phoenix? - set me to thinking (a major accomplishment given my laziness last week).

Our gas prices are definitely ridiculously high (averaging right around $2.35-$2.37 a gallon in metro-Phoenix, I think), but I'm not sure that's really such a bad thing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I whine along with everyone else (probably more than most) about having to pay more than $25 to fill my tank every week since it used to cost less than $20. I'm pretty bad about driving out of my way (burning more gas and increasing my costs to refill) if I think I can pay 2 cents a gallon less by doing so, but really, that's just reflecting the years of conditioning by a father who used drive out of his way to pay $0.37 a gallon instead of $0.39. I also admit that the prices have annoyed me since they've made it more difficult for me to justify buying the new (not particularly fuel efficient) car of my dreams.

In reality, though, I think gas prices are actually probably too low still. Call me crazy, but if we're consuming a non-renewable natural resource at a record pace, the sources of which tend to be countries that hate us, prices should be pretty darn high. At some point, prices could actually get to a level that they would discourage use. With all the monster SUV's on the road, that couldn't be a bad thing.

I think Bill Maher said it best on Real Time Friday night:

How come we have cars with global positioning systems, satellite radio and voice-activated web access, and we still power them with the black goop you have to suck out of the ground?

He went on to say that prices of $2 a gallon probably make people choke on their $4 lattes.

That's probably true, but let's not get crazy. I'm willing to reduce my gasoline consumption but I'm not too thrilled about giving up my Starbucks.

Celebrities I Know

I've worked with a lot of celebrities over the years. Or more accurately, I've worked with a lot of people who share their name with really famous people:

Andy Williams
Dick Clark
Sheryl Crow
Tom Petty

I could almost form a band.

None of them are anything like their more famous namesakes, and they always seem to hate being introduced to new people. There's always some kind of joke or smart-ass comment involved, followed by an eyeroll and a sigh, like "how many frickin' more times in my life do I have to hear the same lame comment about how I don't look anything like Dick Clark (or Andy Williams or Sheryl Crow)?" Tom Petty gets really tired of being asked how the Heartbreakers are doing.

I've known them all so long that I tend to forget the celebrity link, but I'm reminded every time the introduction scene repeats itself. After watching that so many times, I'm a little more satisfied with my generic boring name.

Inspirational Black Hole

Ever have one of those days when absolutely nothing seems interesting or exciting or like something you want to work on or write about or even think about?

I've had one of those days every day this week so far. I get to work early in the morning and start in on the day with good intentions - read through my e-mail, prioritize my day's activities, and work through things one at a time so that at the end of the day, I can look back and think that at least I accomplished this or that today. But, regardless of how good my intentions are, I haven't yet managed to successfully implement my plans.

Instead, I find myself daydreaming and web surfing and doing practically anything else I can to avoid thinking or doing anything useful. Not only have I not been very productive on the work front this week, but I've not had a single good idea for a blog entry (which is probably painfully obvious to anyone who's reading this).

I could've written something about the Pope, but I really didn't care. I could write something about my cool new iPod, but that would just expose my ignorance about the subject. I could write about the upcoming vacation, but reading about people's vacation plans is probably almost as globally hated as looking at their pictures after the vacation. I could write about Anwar (Anwar Sadat, as I like to call him) being booted off American Idol instead of the one who deserved to go (Mr. Savol, in my humble opinion), but I don't really care about that either. Just as long as Constantine and Bo stick around for awhile.

Ho hum. I need some inspiration to strike.

The Todd Pod

I gave in this weekend. I don't really know what came over me, but I had an almost uncontrollable urge (probably brought about by last week's news stories about iPod One) to buy an iPod, so I threw caution to the wind and did just that.

I've been using a crappy little 125MB player for awhile, and while I thought that was pretty cool, I really didn't see what the big deal was about MP3 players in general and especially about iPods. I mean, that old MP3 player held only about 30 songs, and I very quickly tired of hearing the same songs over and over again. With that limitation, I guess my enthusiasm for the technology in general was pretty tempered.

But, oh my gosh. What a difference 30GB makes!

We spent most of the weekend trying feverishly to feed that little white monster with enough music to satisfy its voracious appetite. A few weeks ago, I posted that I had <100MB of music files on my computer. As of last night, after the mad rush to feed the damn thing, I had 523 songs (1.4 days / 2GB) of music files on the computer and iPod. We were digging out old CD's we hadn't seen or heard or even thought of for years to load up.

The scary thing is, I still have 28GB to go. We still have lots of CD's to load, and I've bought a few songs on iTunes, but it's almost impossible to imagine I'll ever be able to fill it up.

The really cool thing now, though, is I can take advantage of Todd's Podcast reviews and Scott's Boogie Boogie Song of the Week!

My Pretty Little Sister

My parent's dog, Lucy, has been staying with us for the last few days while her owners are off galavanting around the state on vacation.

She's such a cool little dog, I really enjoy having her around. She drives our two dogs crazy, and that makes Ed's life more difficult since he's surrounded by all three dogs all day. But for me, who gets to avoid most of the craziness during the day, it's fun to have her around.

She's always happy and ready to play with anybody - one of her dog cousins, or one of her cat cousins, or one of the humans. That always seems a little strange since our two dogs are a bit on the lazy side - they're usually happiest when they're sleeping. Lucy likes to sleep too, but she'd really rather run around and do fun dog things than to sleep.

Even when she's sleeping, Lucy is pretty entertaining. She snores worse than most humans. Listening to her rattling the windows at night is really pretty funny. I suppose it could be annoying, but it doesn't bother me for some reason.

It's hard to look at her little scrunched up face and listen to her snorting and snoring and not just think she's the prettiest little sister ever.

(This isn't actually Lucy. Lucy is actually cuter, but this is pretty close.)

4 More Questions

Answers to Todd's questions:

1. From the standpoint of friendship, not of being a fan, with what celebrity would you like to be close, personal friends?

That's a surprisingly tough question to answer. Like most people, I suppose I fawn over celebrities a bit, but when it comes down to a question of which of them I'd actually like in real life, it gets hard to think of any. I think most of them would have egos much too large for my taste.

But one person has popped up on my radar screen lately that I think would be a lot of fun to hang out with and talk to. She's certainly not an A-list celebrity, but she's somewhat well known. Sarah Vowell shares a couple of my same passions, history and politics, and she has a wickedly funny sense of humor. We have her latest book, Assassination Vacation, on audio and it's a hoot to listen to. I could imagine many hours of interesting conversation and hysterical laughter with her around.

For a more A-list type of celebrity, I'd probably pick Melissa Etheridge. I've always liked her, but I didn't really realize just how well spoken and well centered she really is until I saw her on Dateline NBC awhile back. She strikes me as a pretty humble celebrity.

2. If you have a reasonably high self-esteem, when did you realize that you had it? If you don't, what would it take to achieve it?

My self esteem seems to follow a roller coaster path. There have been times in my life when it was not what it should have been, and other times when it was probably a little overly high. Probably the low point was when I first began to struggle with the fact that I might be gay and was struggling to deny it and to convince myself that it wasn't true. I beat myself up over that for quite awhile.

As I started to venture out of the closet a little bit and started to find other people just like me who were also gay but also normal in every other way, I began to accept myself and my sexuality and my self esteem took a much-needed bounce.

3. Describe one experience you've had that you would define as life-changing.

I've not had many truly life-changing experiences (thankfully!), but I think one experience stands out as having the most impact on the future course of my life. My first job out of college was working for a giant global corporation involved in government contracting. In a lot of ways, it was a dream job because I felt like I was at the center of activity in a very exciting field and my future seemed unbounded.

That all came crashing down one day as I sat in my bosses office while he told me I was being laid off. That happened at about the same time my self esteem was already ebbing because of the whole "am I gay?" thing, and so my self esteem took another big blow.

I managed to escape pretty much unscathed, as I found another job literally the next day. But, I learned a lot about myself and about the "real world" with that experience and I think the lessons have shaped my life ever since.

4. What's your favorite quotation and why?

It's kind of tie between two. Both of them reflect a philosophy I try to live by most of the time (this blog being the exception):

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. 
                                                          - Abraham Lincoln

You can observe a lot just by watching.
                                                         - Yogi Berra

Four Questions

OK, I guess I'll give in. I'll answer the four questions that Ed asked Scott, and Scott tagged me to answer. I'm sure both of their answers will be more entertaining than mine, but I'm trying to play along.

Feel free to ask any other questions (all of you legions of loyal So Anyways readers). If you ask, I'll answer (or I'll invoke my constitutional right to avoid incriminating myself).

1). What is your favorite curse word and how do you use it most frequently?

I can't say that I have a favorite curse word. In fact, I really don't particularly care for curse words in general. That doesn't mean I don't use 'em occasionally, though. I got in a habit years ago of using the f-word in casual conversation, particularly as part of the phrase "what the f*&k?"

I do like Elliot's (on Scrubs) favorite curse word, though - frick. She seems to utter that quite often, and it cracks me up nearly every time. No idea why. I guess I have a weird sense of humor. I especially like when she gets really ballsy and says "frick on a stick!"
 
2). If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Two words: "Good job!" 

I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to do well, and it's amazing how much of a boost I get when someone in a position of authority or whom I respect tells me I've done a good job. It's nice just to know that someone noticed and appreciated the effort. If I can get a "good job!" on my way through the Pearly Gates, I'll be pretty satisfied.

3). Desert Island Scenario... which 1 CD, 1 Book, 1 Movie would you take with you?

Not to be overly analytical here, but the thing is, I'm assuming the whole point of being stranded on a desert island is that there really is no TV or radio to occupy my time. Which is probably because there's no electricity. Without electricity (or rechargeable batteries), I'm thinking it probably wouldn't matter which CD or movie I took with me because I wouldn't be able to do much with them, unless of course my engineering training could be put to good use (like Sayid on Lost) and I could find some way to rub sticks together or something to create electricity.

However, in the spirit of playing the game, I'll put the analytical aside and say that whatever they are, they'd have to be l-o-n-g because I'd get so freakin' sick of listening to or watching anything more than once or twice. Heck, I get sick of the music on my MP3 player after about 2 visits to the gym.

For the CD, I'd probably pick something like a 12-CD compilation of all of Bruce Springsteen's songs. For a movie, maybe Gone With the Wind.

My book choice would be easy: Carl Sandburg's 6-volume biography of Abraham Lincoln. That would keep me occupied for awhile.

4). Boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, or commando? If more than one style, please provide an estimated percentage wear (or not wear!) each type.

Boxer briefs about 98.5% of the time. The other 1.5% of the time, I'm not tellin'.

I'm a Big Dummy

After about 24 hours of a dead computer at work, I'm finally back to the land of the living! It's unbelievable how much of a slave I am to my computer, especially at work. It seems that should be the other way around, but I can tell you, I can't do anything at work without my computer. Thankfully, it was only (!) the hard drive that died. Everything now seems to be back to near normal, so I can work (and blog) just like old times.

So, something has been really bugging me lately. Everyone in blog land keeps throwing the word meme around, especially with the "20 Questions" one going around now. I like reading everyone's questions and answers, but it was bugging the heck out of me that I was unfamiliar with the word meme. Is it a contraction of two words? What does it mean, really? What's its origin? Am I the only one who doesn't have a clue?

I probably am the only one who didn't know the word, which means I've just made a fool out of myself by publicly admitting it.

What disturbs me almost as much, though, is the definition I finally found (after giving in and looking it up on dictionary.com:

n : a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultrual counterpart of genes"

I dunno. It seems kind of scary that everyone's passing around "the cultural counterpart of genes." It almost makes it sound as if everyone's swapping spit or something.

At least I know the word now.

Rockin' With Madeleine

The big moment finally arrived Friday night - the Madeleine Albright book signing that I've been stressing about for a couple of weeks. I live to meet larger than life political figures like her, but I always dread it too since I can never think of a thing to say that doesn't seem trivial. My fascination with celebrity and history always seems to win out, though, as it did this time.

While I didn't impress anyone with a witty and intelligent comment to Ms. Albright, I think I at least managed to avoid the embarrassing drool and tongue-tiedness that I experienced when I met Hillary Clinton. I think I said a total of eight words to her: "Hi!; Yes, that would be fine; Thank you!". But, i did so with grace and charm! I'm making progress.

As usual, Ed managed to actually say something of interest. I'm not sure exactly what it was he said (something to do with how refreshing it is to hear public figures speaking with reason and sanity), but he did elicit some positive response from Madeleine. I need to learn from him, I guess.

I was impressed that I actually managed to hold it together as much as I did, really. As we were sitting there waiting for her to appear, I was flipping through her book and looking at the pictures - pictures of her with Slobodan Milosovic, Crown Prince Bandar, the Clintons, the Pope. Just the reminder I needed that I should feel overwhelmed.

It was definitely a thrill to see her, though. When she first arrived at the store and was waiting in the wings to come out, we caught a glimpse of her. Seeing her for the first time, then hearing her speak for the first time a bit later, were cool moments. I was a bit worried when she first walked out on the stage because the collar on her jacket was turned up awkwardly. Kind of made me worry that she might be a little off. That was quickly put to rest, though, as soon as she started speaking.

She started telling of kicking off her first book tour last year (promoting the hard-cover copy of her book) at a publisher's convention when she followed the author of "Time to Pee!," a children's potty-training guide. She said that she was a little concerned about the implications of a former Secretary of State's memoirs following a potty-training guide. I can't say that I blame her.

She spent a lot of time talking about a whole range of subjects, from how she and Condoleeza Rice were close friends for years before she ever became involved in public service to her reactions to current events in Korea, Iraq, Kosovo, the Middle East, and, of course, the Vatican.

She obviously didn't have a lot of praise for the current administration, but she encouraged the partisan crowd to not be too partisan in opposition. One of her funniest lines had to do with the famous "roadmap to peace" for the Middle East. As she said, the roadmap hasn't done much good for the last few years as no one bothered to take it out of the glove compartment.

Sometimes, you can just tell when you hear someone speak that they are brilliant. I definitely felt that way listening to her, and I was happy to see that she was not only brilliant, but also human - with a sense of humor and everything.

Tech Support Without the Support

Just time for a quick whine this afternoon. Gotta leave early so I can shake Madeleine Albright's hand while drooling uncontrollably and getting all toungue tied.

I'm very annoyed today since I've been having computer difficulties all week at work. Nothing is working correctly. I have to re-start multiple times a day, each re-start is taking progressively longer and longer (it's now up to about 10 minutes), I can no longer remote-access the computer from home, and I have no "admin" rights on the damn thing and can't do anything about it.

So, instead of complaining about it, I decided to just call our IT support group and let them fix it. They advertise that they're just a phone call away and that practically every problem imaginable can be fixed via one simple phone call. That's a good thing considering our IT support group is actually a contract facility located hundreds of miles away.

Anyway, I call in and tell them all my symptoms. The first thing they suggest: defrag the hard drive. OK, fine. Reasonable suggestion. Only, I can't do it because I'm not an "admin" and don't have the rights. So, IT Support guy tells me that he'll have to submit a temporary authorization request so I can get rights. That can't be done until Monday at the earliest.

Whatever. So I'll live with the slow, sluggish response for a few more days. But what I really need - the ability to remote access - I need help with today. I explain to the phone guy that I need it. But first, I have to explain to him what "remote access" means (like, you sit somewhere else and use your computer to attach to and control my computer, dude). I also explain to him that when I try to attach to it, it can't be found on the network.

Once he understood what I was talking about, and I explained the correct software to use for remote access, he tries to connect. Guess what? He can't. My computer isn't visible on the network. Voila! That is the problem - the problem I just told him I was having.

After about half an hour of totally wasting my time and his, he said he'd have to send a real live human being over to see what was wrong. Hmmm. What a great idea.

In the meantime, I guess I have an excuse for not consuming my weekend with work. If I can't access my computer, which isn't working properly anyway, then I can't work from home...all the motivation I need to shut 'er down and not think about work again until Monday.

Have a great weekend!

RIP

*sigh*

Introducing the Next President of the United States...

I think I just read a spoiler. And i'm not sure how I feel about it.

It probably comes as no surprise to anyone who's ever read this blog that The West Wing is one of my favorite TV shows. I like it for a lot of reasons, not the least of which being that President Bartlet is a Clinton-esque Democrat without the sexual addiction. All of the other main characters have won their way into my heart over the years as well, particularly the current Chief of Staff, CJ Cregg (played by Allison Janney). She's pretty much a rock star in my world.

As much as I like the show, I've wavered a bit over the course of the current "season of change." It's election year, and a lot of the show's attention has been focused away from the White House and more toward the Democratic (and to a lesser extent, Republican) primaries. This is all in an effort to transition the show to a new life with a new administration (this is year eight after all, and it just would be so, like, unconstitutional for President Bartlet to serve another year or two). In the early part of the season, entire episodes would go by with nary a glimpse of anything actually happening in the White House. Instead, all of the attention was focused on the candidates in New Hampshire or Iowa or California.

At that point, I had my doubts that the show would survive. Even though it had already been committed for next season, it seemed like it was losing focus and losing my attention quickly. (And if it was losing my attention, there's little hope that normal people would keep watching.) I stuck with it, though, weathered the primaries, and am back to thinking it just might survive.

At this point, we already know that the Republican nominee is Senator Arnold Vinick (played by Alan Alda) and we're pretty sure the Democratic nominee will be Congressman Matt Santos (played by Jimmy Smits). Supposedly, one of these two will win the election and will replace Martin Sheen as the next president. Next season will be focused on the general election, with the new president being inaugurated next January.

I actually find myself watching and trying to decide which one would be the better president. I know it's just a TV show, but I admit I can't watch it without thinking that even though he's a Republican, Alan Alda would make a decent president because we all know Hawkeye Pearce was a good guy and it's just hard to be against Alan/Hawkeye. Then again, I find myself thinking that Matt Santos would be better because he's a Democrat, after all. Either way, the suspense has had me going and I can hardly wait to find out who wins.

And then, I read the spoiler. Apparently one of the two (Alda/Smits) has signed a deal to star in a new show, which essentially eliminates him from the running for the White House. Even though the article had a spoiler warning, I read it anway to find out who the lucky winner is going to me. So now I know the outcome - like 10 months early.

I hate when I do that.

I'm Not Worthy

Sometimes, I just feel inadequate. Like, for instance, when I met Hillary Clinton at a book signing last year. I stressed for days ahead of time about what I could say to her that would display the right combination of respect, admiration, and appreciation without being ridiculous and without pushing her just one step closer to the catatonic zombie-like state she probably feels herself hurtling toward every time she has to endure hours and hours of cheerfully greeting crowds of people at book signings or political rallies.

I mean, what exactly could I say to Hillary Clinton that would even be remotely interesting or memorable to her? After all, she's met Kings and Queens and Popes and Matt Lauer and Barbara Walters and Oprah. I know that pretty much the last thing she probably cares about doing is shaking my hand and listen to anything I might have to say.

But still, I do admire and respect her, and I'd like her to know that. Plus, I have such a thing for any presidential trinkets, including a small, but growing collection of presidential memoirs signed by the authors, that I couldn't avoid taking the opportunity to get her book signed and to meet her.

So, after stressing about what to say, and struggling mightily to build up my courage, I pretty much blew it at the moment of truth. My turn to shake her hand came, I stepped up, she looked at me with a wide smile meant to put normal people at ease, stuck her hand out, waited for me to say something, and I totally froze. I did shake her hand, and once she recognized the signs of celebrity-induced idiocy in me, she said something to the effect of "thanks for coming." I finally managed to get something along the lines of "thank you" out, but it was a struggle, and I doubt she even heard it.

As I was walking away, I felt like the old Chris Farley character on Saturday Night Live - I don't remember his name, but he was always down on himself. He'd do something dumb, then realize how dumb it was, and slap himself in the forehead saying "stupid, stupid, stupid!". That was exactly how I felt.

So, now I'm going to meet another woman that's only slightly lower on my list of really intimidating women - Madeleine Albright. She'll be in town on Friday to sign copies of her book, so I've got a ticket and am trying to figure out what to say to her and to build up enough courage to actually say it.

I mentioned my dilemma to a co-worker today, which was coincidental since he just happened to meet Muhammad Ali, Bo Derek, Chevy Chase, and John Corbett this weekend. They were all in town for some celebrity fight event. Now, meeting Muhammad Ali would probably be as intimidating to me as meeting either Hillary or Madeleine, so I asked the co-worker what he said to Ali. He said, "it's a pleasure and a real honor to meet you."

I can try saying that to Madeleine, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get it out.

This Week

It seems like it's been kind of a difficult week.

I tried to avoid becoming too invested in the Terri Schiavo case and I've avoided saying much about it, mostly because it seemed to me that the one thing I would want if I were in her position - dignity - has been missing. Entertainment Tonight hyping your death night after night and Patricia Heaton and Marsha Clark commenting on it endlessly is just wrong.

If I were in Terri's situation, I don't know how my loved ones would handle it or what their ultimate decision would be. I almost don't even care, really. What I do care about, though, is that the situation should be handled with dignity and grace and that it shouldn't be allowed to consume 10 or 15 minutes of Mary Hart's time every night. I hope Terri can rest in peace now.

It came as kind of a shock that Johnny Cochran passed away this week. I didn't even realize he was sick. Not that I was a fan of his, but he definitely will be remembered long after his death.

Today, the world is watching as the Pope's long struggle is probably coming to an end. I'm not Catholic, and I certainly don't agree with a lot of the Pope's politics. But, I have to say, he has been a truly larger-than-life presence for a very long time. I remember when he came to Phoenix right after I moved here, in the late '80's. It was by far the biggest thing that ever happened in this city - even outranking the Superbowl we hosted one year.

I also recall one business trip I was on when, in the Charles DeGaulle airport in Paris, there were literally thousands of kids (teenagers), obviously from all over the world, all wearing the same t-shirts saying something about the "Pope-fest" they had attended with what was then a very energetic and hugely popular Pope. The man certainly had a charisma that allowed him to influence probably more people than any other single individual in modern history.

Watching his decline over the last few years with Parkinson's disease, and more recently with breathing problems and viral infections, has been difficult. More times than once, my thoughts have gone back to my own grandfather who struggled with Parkinson's disease for years before his death. I remember the minister at his funeral speaking eloquently about how Parkinson's disease had forced my grandfather "to dance with an unwanted partner," and how he had struggled to do so with dignity and courage. I can't help but think about that when I see the Pope so obviously struggling with his own "unwanted partner."

Finally, after thinking the week had been full enough of death, I stumbled upon another one. My favorite member of the McLaughlin Group, Eleanor Clift, lost her husband to cancer on Wednesday.

After all that's happened this week, I think I'll avoid complaining about whatever trivial thing I normally would be whining about.