House of Cards

I'm officially old and grumpy, I guess, but I'm just absolutely sick of buying and sending greeting cards every few weeks. It's not that I don't love and cherish those that I'm sending the cards to, but I'm starting to really resent the obligation.

I really do hope that my dad will have a happy Father's Day this weekend, and I'm sure I'll do something to help ensure that he at least knows I'm thinking of him. I did the same for my mom last month for Mother's Day. And, I try to call the family on their birthdays. I don't mind that.

What I do mind, though, is this feeling that no matter what else I do, if I don't send a dumb card, I'm being a bad son/brother/whatever. It's not that my family gives me a big guilt trip about it (because I always send a card), but I'm just afraid what would happen if I ever missed sending one.

I'm beginning to have nightmares that this huge older woman with a fake smile and a wig, smelling as if she bathed in perfume, and wearing a Hallmark name tag will appear out of nowhere and haunt me for the rest of my life if I miss an opportunity/obligation to send a card. She'll remind me constantly that I should buy a card for this or that occasion, but I'll be able to tell that her fake sweet smile is just hiding her disdain for me and if I listen closely enough, I'll hear her cackling an evil laugh under her breath as she offers me a "gold star" to seal the card envelope with.

I know I'm probably being overly caustic, but I just don't think that greeting cards are worth all the hassle. It seems that I'm buying one every other week, and in the process I'm accomplishing absolutely nothing besides keeping Hallmark happy- well, that and keeping the old Hallmark woman/apparition out of my head. I guess that's worth something.

Comments

[Todd (the other one)]

Not that you were asking for advice, but I'll offer some... :-) Here's a couple of things I do to take the drudgery out of greeting cards (I too think they're just contrivances manufactured by Corporate Monsters Who Just Want Our Money).

1. When you're in a good, cheery, even silly mood, go to a card store and peruse the cards. Buy the ones you like so you'll have them on hand when they're needed. When you go without an immediate deadline, the funny ones will make you laugh out loud and the sentimental ones might even bring a tear to your eye.
2. Instead of buying a card, get some classy blank note cards and write a short note to the person. No one writes these days, so I like to think that receiving something that someone took the time and effort to write is more satisfying and meaningful than any preprinted card. The note doesn't have to be long or overly emotional, just personal.

[Scott-O-Rama]

I agree with the other Todd. Buy your cards well in advance so you always have some on hand.

I forgot to send my brother a birthday card once. Boy did my mom ever let me hear about it!