So Anyways

The Kite Runner

It's been so long since I read a really good book that I was beginning to wonder why I always list reading as one of my favorite hobbies. I really do enjoy reading, but lately it seems that it's been a struggle just to finish any book that I've started. Nothing that I've read recently has grabbed my attention or made me care about what was on the next page. I was just about to give up on the whole reading thing and just replace it with an overdose of reality television as my hobby of choice.

Thankfully, that changed when I started The Kite Runner, a novel by Khaled Hosseini. This is Hosseini's first published novel, a fact that's hard to believe given that the story is completely captivating and is so well written that it puts many well-established authors to shame.

I bought the book probably six months ago since I had heard some good things about it, but I never had the desire to start it. I just wasn't sure that I'd be able to identify with the characters or care much about the story since I knew it was set in Afghanistan - a country and culture that couldn't be any further removed from my own world.

After finally struggling through and finishing the book I started on our vacation back in May, Tales of the South Pacific, I noticed The Kite Runner high up on all of the best seller lists and getting glowing reviews from seemingly everyone. I'm not sure why it has recently re-emerged as a best seller since it's been out in paperback for a long time already, but I decided I'd give it a shot. Maybe enough time had passed since 9/11 and the war in Afghanistan that I could open up my mind enough to enjoy a story set in that country. Maybe I'd clear away the mental images I had of a dusty, desolate, god-forsaken country inhabited by evil doers with beards and robes who do nothing but sit around hating America and plotting ways to destroy us day in and day out.

It turns out, that mental image was shattered within the first 10 pages or so of the book. The story is about two young boys growing up together in Afghanistan in the days before the Soviet invasion and  dealing with the effects of the multiple wars that ravaged the country since then. It deals with friendship, betrayal, and tragedy, all wrapped in a culture that has always seemed so foreign, but which refreshingly I began to see as so similar to our own. Afghanistan was (and probably still is) plagued by racism and economic divisions much like those we live with here in America - tribe against tribe, Shiite against Sunni, the rich against the poor. And, through it all, ordinary people struggle to live their ordinary lives. In the case of Afghanistan, ordinary people struggled to live their lives under the brutality of the Taliban and their brand of religious extremism - something that, while unimaginably worse than anything we are dealing with or threatened by in America, is related on some level to the wave of religious conservatism and intolerance we're seeing in America today.

The story managed to make me actually care about the characters and I think opened my eyes to a world that may be more like my own than I had ever imagined. It definitely gets a nomination for the So Anyways book of the year award.

20 Questions

Thanks to lobster messiah, I've wasted most of my weekend already. This little gizmo he linked to is just blowing my mind.

Give it a try. See if you can stump the little bugger.

Moral Dilemma

I'm facing a bit of a moral dilemma today. Two of my best buddies from high school (a guy and a girl) who eventually got married to each other and are now born-again conservative Christians living in the deep south, sent out an email today announcing that they have quit their jobs to go to "missionary school" (whatever that is exactly), and soliciting contributions from friends and family to support them while they attend this school.

I'm not so sure I want to contribute.

I really love these two (in a purely platonic sense, of course). I have a lot of fond memories from the old high school days of hanging out with them, doing crazy barely-legal things, dishing dirt about those of our other friends who weren't nearly as cool as us, and just generally growing up together. I'd do just about anything for them.

But, our lives went separate ways a few years after college - I obviously took the road "less traveled" - the yellow-brick road over the rainbow (or the dark road leading straight to eternal damnation according to some) as I came out of the closet and began living my life as a gay man. They, on the other hand, took the exact opposite road - that same road that George W. Bush and John Ashcroft took - and are now proud Red-Staters.

Since we live thousands of miles apart now, we never see each other anymore, but we do keep in touch and still I think mutually treasure our high school & college friendship. Despite my strongly held (pig-headed, even) beliefs, I don't tend to spout them much in casual conversation, even among friends. So, I don't think they have a clue just how deadset I am against supporting any kind of conservative, evangelical activity (especially a missionary activity whose ultimate goal is to convert even more of the world over to the intolerance and bigotry that I associate with right-wing Christianity).

I'd do just about anything for these two, but I think this is asking too much. I wish them well, and I'm sure they're becoming missionaries out of a true desire to "do good." They're probably going to think of me as a bad friend for ignoring their request for money, but I guess I'll just have to take that risk. I don't think sending them a check to make it easier for them to fight for things I abhor is something I'm willing to do. Even if it costs me a friendship.

Small, Medium, or Large?

Remember back in the day when if you ordered a fountain beverage at a baseball game concession stand, you could choose between three sizes - small, medium, and large? Those days are apparently gone.

We manage to go to a few Arizona Diamondback's baseball games every season, and that is an issue every time.

They sell soft drinks (for ridiculously inflated prices) in three sizes, indicated on the big menu boards as:

Soft Drinks:    $3.75       $4.50        $5.25.

Being the big dummy I am, I used to always assume the $4.50 version would be referred to as the "medium" size. Because it's the one in the middle.

Wrong.

Anytime I ordered a "medium", I'd be handed a tiny little cup and charged $3.75. After a couple of times of that happening, I figured out that the $4.50 version is actually the large size. The $5.25 behemoth is extra-large. The puny little $3.75 version is the medium. There is no small size.

OK. So I've finally got it. If I want the middle-sized cup, I have to order a "large". No sweat. It annoys me to no end that I have to call the middle-sized version of anything the "large," but hey, I'm adaptable. I can do this.

So, I walk up to the concession stand at the game this week repeating to myself under my breath, "order a large, order a large, order a large..." When I do, guess what happens? The lady asks me do I want the "large large" or the "small large?"

It's at moments like that when I think I'm probably going to die an early death caused by a stroke. I know the poor lady was just as confused as everyone else and was just trying to make sure she gave me what I really wanted, but at that very moment, my frustration level with the whole insane soda-size naming convention was so high that I temporarily lost my pleasant demeanor.

My temples throbbed with the anger I was feeling, and I don't even remember exactly what I said to her, but I'm sure it was sarcastic and caustic. Somehow I managed to get the $4.50 size that I wanted, but it really truly wasn't worth the stress. Next time I'm just ordering the "bomber" sized beer, dishing out the $9 that would cost, and being done with it. At least the alcohol would soothe my nerves.

Back to Normal

Whew. It seems as if the hysteria here on So Anyways may have died down a bit, so maybe I can get a word in edgewise amongst all of the comments!

I'd like to thank everyone who commented in the last couple of days. Little did I know that one simple whine would result in an explosion of comments showering down upon me. It made me giddy with excitement.

I would like, however, to take exception to a term that has been used to describe me over the last 24 hours - "comment whore." Isn't that a bit harsh? I mean, I love getting comments, and I'd do just about anything for them, including sullying my good name and reputation. But, "whore"? That's such a tacky word. I'm thinking "comment afficionado" would be so much more appropriate.

I'm also really happy to know that my little blog has allowed Scott & Buckaroo to decide to have pizza tonight, that Todd and Kevin will be dining at Little Azio and that Bailey will hopefully get his leash back, and that Scott C and his partner won't run out of dog food today - all thanks to So Anyways. It's service that I'm happy to bring to all of my blog buddies. It's truly the least I can do.

Notice

This is to let you all know that So Anyways is no longer just a blog. It's a personal communication tool for all of those gay (or straight) couples out there who need to communicate with each other but would rather do so in written form instead of by the old-fashioned and not nearly as entertaining way of actually walking across the house to speak to each other.

So feel free to use the Comments section below to discuss what you and your lovah' want to watch on TV or whether you should order out for pizza or Chinese.

If you're not really sure just how this would work, just check out the Comments section under the following post. S-o-R and B-a-R have it all figured out.

Thanks for the comments, guys. I feel so special. :)

I'm Overwhelmed

I'm overwhelmed at the number of comments on my last few posts. Usually, I can write 15 entries in between comments, but today, the comments are piling up almost faster than I can keep up.

Of course, I do realize that there has apparently been some major malfunction with the Typepad system (they just installed a bunch of upgrades and quite a few bugs as well), so comments are getting duplicated several times over as a result. But still, it's kinda cool just to see those big numbers and pretend that I'm one of the popular kids!

I should probably delete the duplicate comments, but I think I'll hold off on that for a bit. I'm going to bask in the glory for awhile. Plus I'm more concerned about figuring out how to fix this weird font that the Typepad upgrade left me with.

Anyway, thanks for the comments!

100 Things

I realize this is supposed to be done when you first start writing a blog, not like 2 years later. But, I've always been on the slow side, and I've never believed that I could come up with 100 things about me that anyone would find even remotely interesting.

I'm still not sure about that, but I've managed to make a list anyway.

For what it's worth, here are 100 of the most fascinating things about my fascinating life. Enjoy!

1. I was 3 weeks old when John F. Kennedy was shot.
2. My mom saved the newspapers from that week and I still have them.
3. The town I was born in is best known as the place where the first atomic bomb was exploded.
4. Some people say that pretty much explains why I am the way I am.
5. I've been interested in politics since an early age.
6. The first political rally I ever attended was for George Wallace when he ran for president.
7. I was 1 year old at the time.
8. The only reason we attended was because it was a big deal to have a presidential candidate in our little town.
9. My mom said I started crying as soon as Governor Wallace started speaking and I didn't stop until he stopped talking.
10. I've never been to another political rally.
11. I watched the Senate's Watergate hearings more than most adults.
12. I was 11 years old at the time.
13. I still have an audio cassette tape I made of President Nixon's resignation speech.
14. The Nixon Library is the only presidential library I've ever been to.
15. Some day, I want to go to all of them.
16. My favorite president was Abraham Lincoln.
17. My second favorite was John Adams.
18. The current president is my 43rd favorite president of all time.
19. I've been to 14 other countries.
20. Three of those - Switzerland, Kenya, and Bahrain - don't count because I was only in the airport in each of them.
21. Ten of the rest were for work/business trips.
22. Only one, French Polynesia, was for fun.
23. Ed and I went there this year and spent time on the islands of Moorea and Bora Bora.
24. That was the best vacation ever.
25. Ed and I have lived together for 3 years.
26. We've been happily "together" for a lot longer than that.
27. We can't remember exactly how long it's been because we got off to a slow start.
28. I wasn't very comfortable with admitting that I was gay.
29. I put Ed through a lot in those early days.
30. I'm glad he put up with me then and that he still does.
31. I had the same girlfriend for 2 years of high school and the first 2 years of college.
32. Two weeks after we broke up, she was engaged to marry our high school band director.
33. I played the trombone in high school band.
34. We won the state's high school marching band contest my senior year.
35. I've never touched a trombone since.
36. I have one brother and one sister.
37. I'm the oldest.
38. Two of my grandparents, both of my parents, my brother, my sister, and my sister-in-law are all school teachers.
39. I'm an engineer.
40. I have no idea why I became an engineer.
41. I think it might be because a high school math teacher once told me that I didn't have the aptitude to become an engineer.
42. From that point on, I never made less than an "A" in a math or science class.
43. I really don't like math or science.
44. I love sports, but I'm a terrible athlete.
45. Baseball is my favorite sport.
46. One of the highlights of my life was attending Game 1 of the 2001 World Series.
47. That was 6 weeks after September 11.
48. I admit that I had a lump in my throat when they played the Star Spangled Banner that day.
49. That highlight was surpassed a few days later when we got to attend Game 7 of the World Series and our team won!
50. It was a come-from-behind victory in the bottom of the ninth inning.
51. I still get goose bumps when I think of that.
52. Another highlight of my life was getting a personal tour of the US Capitol building in Washington, DC.
53. We got to stand on the floor of the US House of Representatives just feet away from where the president delivers the State of the Union messages.
54. We also got to visit the Speaker of the House's private balcony overlooking the National Mall.
55. I want to visit Australia some day.
56. Eight months after graduating from high school, I was living and working on a tropical island in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
57. I spent eight months there.
58. My first job out of college was on a project team building radio equipment for a NASA mission to Mars.
59. The spacecraft crashed and burned just when it got to Mars.
60. It wasn't my fault. I swear.
61. Spare equipment we built for that project was used later on a subsequent mission to Mars.
62. That mission was successful.
63. Something I touched is actually sitting on the surface of Mars right now.
64. I've never worked on anything cool like that since.
65. I was laid off once.
66. I had just bought my first house 6 months earlier.
67. That was a scary time.
68. I went back to work for the same company 1 year later.
69. Eight years after that, I quit that job and went to work for a start-up company.
70. Two years later, the start-up company failed.
71. I've been back working for the original company ever since.
72. I really don't like changing jobs.
73. I've had a dog for all but one year of my life.
74. The first dog I got "on my own" was a basset hound named Max.
75. Max was my good buddy for 13 years.
76. Max's daughter is still living with us.
77. She's almost 14 years old.
78. We have 4 pets all together, 2 dogs and 2 cats.
79. The cats hate me.
80. I have no idea why.
81. The dogs like me.
82. I'm feeling old.
83. I took a FORTRAN programming class my first semester in college.
84. We actually wrote programs using punch cards.
85. I had never used a "personal" computer until my first job out of college.
86. That really wasn't as long ago as it sounds.
87. I remember getting our first color TV when I was just a tyke.
87. No wonder I feel old.
88. I don't have any tattoos.
89. Or piercings.
90. I wear glasses.
91. I tried wearing contact lenses, but they made me want to claw my eyes out.
92. I lost 30 pounds two years ago.
93. I gained 5 of them back.
94. I love to read.
95. I rarely find the time to read anymore.
96. I like all kinds of music.
97. I listen mostly to current pop, country, and "music from the 70's, 80's, and today."
98. My favorite TV shows are Scrubs, Lost, 24, and The West Wing.
99. I watch way too much TV.
100. I actually can't think of a single other thing to add to this list.

The Good Wife

Excerpts from an article entitled, "The Good Wife", in the May 13, 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly:

(Note to Ed: Pay attention!)

- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a  lot of work-weary people.

(This one's one of my favorites):

- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it for him.

- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

- A good wife knows her place.

Now that we have that all cleared up, I should be home about 5 today, dear. Please have my dinner ready, have a drink ready for me, and by all means, be a little gay. :)