Small, Medium, or Large?

Remember back in the day when if you ordered a fountain beverage at a baseball game concession stand, you could choose between three sizes - small, medium, and large? Those days are apparently gone.

We manage to go to a few Arizona Diamondback's baseball games every season, and that is an issue every time.

They sell soft drinks (for ridiculously inflated prices) in three sizes, indicated on the big menu boards as:

Soft Drinks:    $3.75       $4.50        $5.25.

Being the big dummy I am, I used to always assume the $4.50 version would be referred to as the "medium" size. Because it's the one in the middle.

Wrong.

Anytime I ordered a "medium", I'd be handed a tiny little cup and charged $3.75. After a couple of times of that happening, I figured out that the $4.50 version is actually the large size. The $5.25 behemoth is extra-large. The puny little $3.75 version is the medium. There is no small size.

OK. So I've finally got it. If I want the middle-sized cup, I have to order a "large". No sweat. It annoys me to no end that I have to call the middle-sized version of anything the "large," but hey, I'm adaptable. I can do this.

So, I walk up to the concession stand at the game this week repeating to myself under my breath, "order a large, order a large, order a large..." When I do, guess what happens? The lady asks me do I want the "large large" or the "small large?"

It's at moments like that when I think I'm probably going to die an early death caused by a stroke. I know the poor lady was just as confused as everyone else and was just trying to make sure she gave me what I really wanted, but at that very moment, my frustration level with the whole insane soda-size naming convention was so high that I temporarily lost my pleasant demeanor.

My temples throbbed with the anger I was feeling, and I don't even remember exactly what I said to her, but I'm sure it was sarcastic and caustic. Somehow I managed to get the $4.50 size that I wanted, but it really truly wasn't worth the stress. Next time I'm just ordering the "bomber" sized beer, dishing out the $9 that would cost, and being done with it. At least the alcohol would soothe my nerves.

Comments

[Scott-O-Rama]

Well at least they don't call the sizes Tall, Grande, and Venti like *some* places I know!

[Dave]

Man I miss big fountain sodas like that. By now 7-Eleven must have a Big Gulp the size of a pail, with a handle and all.

Over here (Germany) the only place you can get fountain is at fast food and the movies. Not even the gas station. But the movies serve bottled beer so why bother with the soda. It feels strange sitting there with a bottle in your hand but after a couple it doesn't matter much anymore.

[notyourtypicalsouthernbelle]

Apparently, there are no small pizzas anymore, either. Well, at least not that I am aware of.

I agree with everything being ridiculously overpriced, though.

Here via Blog Explosion.

[Chris]

I haven't been in a 7-11 for a while, but I remember seeing a 64 oz. Big Gulp cup.

Might as well just buy a two-liter bottle. It's probably cheaper.

[Lee]

Dominos Cardboard is similar - their small pizza is what THEY call their medium. The times I order from them, I ask for a small and half the time I get corrected by them at which point i start an arguement that it's the smallest size they've ever had, how does that make it a medium? The employee can't answer and proceeds to take my order.

[Scott-O-Rama]

You were doing so well at updating your blog... then another long dry spell.

Anxiously awaiting your return.

[ryan]

LOL -- I was at a Dbacks game recently, and made the almost the exact same comments after buying some nachoes. They only come in Medium and Large as well - FYI.