No Words

I've been struggling all week to figure out what it is I'm feeling about hurricane Katrina and her aftermath. I'm definitely feeling something, but I can't for the life of me put it into words.

I don't think there really are any words to describe the scenes that have been playing out on the news this week or my reaction to them. It's really just beyond my poor brain's ability to comprehend.

I know disasters of the same general magnitude (ie, total complete destruction) have happened all over the world with a lot of regularity, but with the possible exception of the Asian tsunami, it's always been hard to really "connect" with the victims and the tragedy they're facing. Usually in a foreign country, and more often than not in a Third World country at that, the disasters just seem like something tragic but far away. The concern I feel is only fleeting and it's easier to chalk the loss of life and property to the fact that those countries don't have the infrastructure of a more modern country. Not that I'm proud of that fact, but it's true. Even the tsunami probably would have seemed much less "real" to me had a high-profile American like Nate Berkus not been affected in such a big way.

But, this time, it's right here in America, and things like that just aren't supposed to happen here. Americans aren't supposed to wake up one morning and realize that literally everything about life as they had known it was completely obliterated. Not just changed or made more difficult. Obliterated.

They're not supposed to wake up one morning and have to fend for themselves with no home, no shelter, no food, no water, no electricity, no money, no way out, no communication with the outside world, no way to defend themselves. They're not supposed to face horrible diseases because of the putrid water and dead bodies surrounding them. I realize that people will argue that homeless people in America fight some of those battles every day, in every city of the country. I don't mean to minimize what they face at all, but I really don't think that it compares to what thousands, or tens of thousands, of people in Katrina's wake are facing.

I've tried all day to focus on my work and haven't spent a lot of time reading up on the day's latest news, nor have I seen any TV coverage today. But, I've seen headlines enough today and have seen enough TV coverage at night this week to know that the situation is going from utterly disastrous to something even worse than Stephen King could dream up for one of his horror novels.

Some excerpts from CNN's main article that are just impossible for my brain to process:

A police officer working in downtown New Orleans said police were siphoning gas from abandoned vehicles in an effort to keep their squad cars running.

The officer said police are "on their own" for food and water, scrounging up what they can from anybody who is generous enough to give them some -- and that they have no communication whatsoever. Police also told CNN they were removing ammunition from looted gunshops in an effort to get it off the streets.

The evacuation of patients from Charity Hospital was halted after the facility came under sniper fire, while groups of armed men wandered the streets, buildings smoldered and people picked through stores for what they could find.

"There are multiple people dying at the convention center," Lawrence said. "There was an old woman, dead in a wheelchair with a blanket draped over her, pushed up against a wall. Horrible, horrible conditions.

"We saw a man who went into a seizure, literally dying right in front of us."

There really are no words.