Size Matters

Apparently, size does matter. At least when it comes to soda.

Just before the holidays, all of the soda vending machines in our office were mysteriously allowed to run out of sodas. The machines weren't restocked for a week or two, so that eventually they were all empty. For those of us with addictions to feed, that was not a pretty time. It was pretty easy to tell who the soda addicts were - we were the ones who began pacing the halls early in the day, and who, by the end of the day, were gathering around the machines with looks of hopeful desperation as one after another of us would feed coinage in in hopes that somehow we'd be lucky and magically get that one magical soda that was still lurking somewhere in the machine just toying with our emotions.

It became clear today why the machines were not restocked. They were all switched out, so that now, instead of vending 12-ounce cans, they now only offer 20-ounce behemoth plastic bottles.

Now, I don't have a problem if people actually want that much soda, but I'm already feeling guilty about my addiction and I'd prefer to limit myself to 12 ounces of the stuff a day. No way do I need that extra 67%. I drink the diet stuff, and I get lectured everyday by several busy-bodies around here who claim that I'm going to die of cancer as a result. The extra 8 ounces is not going to make those people happy.

I guess I should be happy because, although there's a corresponding price increase with the larger bottles, it's a relatively small percentage increase (up to $1.10 per soda from $0.85, or a 30% increase in price). What a bargain. For only 30% more, I increase my risk of developing cancer by a whopping 67%.

I know that for a gay guy to wish for a smaller size of anything is a little unusual, but I'm no soda-size queen. Small is just fine with me.

Comments

[Scott-O-Rama]

Try giving it up altogether. I did last spring. I used to drink a 2-liter of Diet Coke every day... at least.

[Scott C]

I actually prefer the bottles, as they are resealable. If I don't drink it at once, it does not get as flat as a can sitting there. However, this year, I am trying to do what the other Scott did, and give up pop.